Significant life changes require a bit of getting used to. Take retirement, for example; having spent a lifetime building a successful career, the thought of giving it all away can be daunting and ‘life after work’ means making some significant adjustments.

But what happens when a couple decides to make not one, but two or three big life changes – and then implement them all at once? And what does it do to a relationship when you’re travelling and living together in confined spaces for long periods of time?

As most of you know, immediately after Greg retired several months ago we packed up our house in Australia, farewelled family and friends, and jetted off to Italy. New life, new culture, no friends and not much language. So how has it been for each of us so far?

Greg:  ‘It’s been outstanding … amazing. The fact that I haven’t looked back and missed what I was doing before is surprising to me. And that’s not because I didn’t enjoy what I was doing, but I’m liking this much more.

Maybe that’s about being distracted by new things – new sights, new experiences, meeting new fun people, but I think it’s not only that. I’m really enjoying sharing the experiences of the new friends and acquaintances we meet. Every interaction adds to the richness of life here.

The downside would be not knowing the language. I’m an engager and someone who asks questions to get to know a person better, so that’s been a bit hard. But worst thing? There really isn’t one. There are small frustrations, but nothing that’s bad or a problem.

Together Gayle and I are going great and I think that’s partly because we also provide each other with the opportunity to do individual things. We encourage each other to maintain some level of consistency with our lives in Australia, for me that’s heading to the gym or going off for a walk. And giving each other space to think too, that’s important.

Best thing? Honestly – being together. That sounds fluffy but it’s true. And reflecting on our experiences with Gayle and also having input into the blog with my perceptions and perspectives and seeing her weave that into the stories, I really enjoy that.

This feels a bit like an interim period. I know that when we get back to Australia we’ll go into another, more permanent phase of our life but right now I wouldn’t change it for the world. It is, and will continue to be, the experience of a lifetime.’

Gayle:  ‘I’m really surprised I haven’t been more homesick. Of course I’m missing family and friends, but life here is so full it doesn’t feel like there’s an empty space in there anywhere. As you’d expect Italy is delivering wonderful new experiences by the bucket-load.

I think what I’m enjoying most is being able to spend time in one place. It means we can learn a bit about the communities we’re living in, and they start to become used to us too. (You know you’re getting there when the guy in the coffee shop knows your order, or when the local butcher gives you a shout and a wave as you walk past). Just having that opportunity to get to know the people and the place, that’s the best part for me.

Certainly embarking on this adventure has meant a lot of changes for us, and I think being aware of that has been important. Fortunately Greg and I have very similar interests (people, culture, history, food), which helps when you’re spending almost 24 hours a day together. But we also find ways to give each other space and do things separately. Here’s what else I’ve learned:

  • good communication is the best peace-keeping tool there is
  • a degree of compromise is essential (though being too flexible isn’t good either)
  • simply looking out for and after each other is the most important thing
  • and, as they say, don’t sweat the small stuff (just don’t ask me about that time at the servo when the pre-pay machine ate our credit card)

I feel very fortunate to be enjoying this experience, and especially to be sharing it with Greg. Right now, there isn’t anything I’d rather be doing.’